If there’s one thing that’s certain in this life, it’s death. In most cases, when we die, a funeral, memorial service or a celebration of life takes place – and, as family and friends come together to remember that special someone, a loved one or clergy tends to read a eulogy.
What is a eulogy? In short, a eulogy is delivered during a funeral. The primary purpose of a eulogy is to pay tribute to the person who has died by reflecting on their life, who they were, their accomplishments and perhaps the impact they had on those around them. A eulogy often includes personal stories and special memories – the ‘highlights’ of a person’s life.
Traditionally, a clergy or loved one creates a eulogy, but who says you can’t write your own? Writing your own eulogy is a powerful exercise that offers several benefits. Here are some reasons why you might consider writing your own eulogy:
- You can control the narrative and what’s said about you
- A self-written eulogy is guaranteed to be personal
- It gives you a chance to reflect on your life
- It can get you thinking about estate and legacy planning, including putting Lasting Powers of Attorney in place
- It might get you thinking about how you want to be remembered
- It will provide comfort to loved ones at what can be a difficult time
- It’s one less job for grieving loved ones to do when they might already be upset
So, you’ve decided you want to write your own eulogy. But where to start? We’ve put together this handy guide to help you through the process:
1. Really understand the purpose of your eulogy
A eulogy is more than a summary of your life. It’s an opportunity to provide comfort and inspiration to those you leave behind, offering them a unique glimpse into your life from your perspective.
You can choose the focus, whether it’s sharing achievements you’re proud of or personal stories that might be relatable by some of those in the room – think of your eulogy as a final message to loved ones.
2. Consider your life and legacy
A good starting point is to remember the key moments in your life. From relationships, job roles and experiences – think about those moments that have shaped your life.
Ask yourself, what are the most significant achievements in your life? What challenges have you overcome? What do you want to be remembered for?
It’s important for you to consider both your successes and failures here – after all, nobody’s life is entirely perfect. Your eulogy should reflect the full scope of your life.
3. Choose your tone and style
The beauty of writing your own eulogy is that you have complete control over the tone and style of what is said. Ideally, this should reflect your personality, however, it’s important to remember that your eulogy will likely set the tone for the rest of your funeral or memorial service.
Do you want it to be humorous? Perhaps you’re a more serious person, and so do you want your eulogy to be of a more formal style? The key is to stay true to yourself – allow the eulogy to be a genuine reflection of who you are.
4. Structuring your eulogy
Although there are no set rules, a eulogy is usually around three to eight minutes long and tends to be around 500 to 1000 words long. Of course, if you’re writing your own eulogy, it could be easy to get carried away. To keep yourself on track, consider the below structure:
- Introduction
- The ‘highlights’, including upbringing, achievements, career and relationships
- Your values and how they shaped your life
- Personal anecdotes and stories that reflect your personality
- A final message to loved ones
- Conclusion, wrapping your eulogy up with a closing thought or statement
5. Write with sincerity and keep it clear
Write your eulogy with sincerity. Speak from your heart – it should be about you, so avoid generic information that lacks personality. Instead, try to focus on specific details and stories – and don’t be afraid to show vulnerability.
Likewise, keep your things clear. While it might be tempting to create a complex, flowery piece – remember, the goal is to tell loved ones your story. You want your loved ones to connect with the words you’ve written.
6. Review and revise
Once you’ve written your eulogy, take the time to review it. Put it to one side and come back to it. Does it flow? Does it capture the tone you want? Make sure you are happy with what you have written.
Are you legacy planning? Have you got a Lasting Power of Attorney?
Writing your own eulogy is a powerful exercise, giving you a chance to reflect on your life and an opportunity to think about your future. It might spark important conversations with loved ones about dying while encouraging you to think about legacy planning.
Have you created a Will? Have you thought about putting Lasting Powers of Attorney in place? It might seem overwhelming to think about, but having these plans in place will not only make things a lot easier for grieving loved ones but also ensure your wishes are fulfilled when you die.
Having these conversations isn’t always easy. Get in contact with me, Julie Hughes, at Hughes Probate, and we can have an informal chat over a cup of tea. Whether you need support with probate, Lasting Powers of Attorney or deputyship I’ll be here to hold your hand throughout the entire process. Get in touch.
